An appointment was set up for the following week for discussing the results of the pathology report. Initially I was again living in denial,that all would be OK, nevertheless I had my first attempt at that word Mastectomy and found that my spelling was way off.

Though I said in my last Blog I was not afraid of Death, suddenly I was very afraid of the process of dying. The more I conferred with Dr Google the scarier this whole thing was looking, There was so much information on Breast Cancer and most of it was not that positive and full of words that I didn’t have a clue what they meant. So most of that week was spent flipping between denial and fear. Finally the day arrived and I found myself alongside my Husband in the typical hospital closet of a room being told, yes I did have Cancer and because it was very early, treatment would be a Lumpectomy   followed up by Radiotherapy  and the drug Tamoxifen .

Again shock and disbelief sent my mind out of my body and possibly to another Planet. My darling husband,  though also in shock remembered most of the conversation and was able to give me a whole new bevy of words to research.

Again another appointment for the next week was arranged to discuss Surgery. As I live out of Town there was the small joy of having Lunch in Town every week for a month

So during the next week family and friends were told

Hint#2 If you have a phone book full of family and friends of more than 20, get it down to your most intimate confidants, people who will support you. People who won’t want to tell you the latest cure or cling to you as if you are about to step through deaths door.

You need people who love you but will spend their love on listening to you whether you are up or down, screaming or withdrawn, who totally accept where you are at, and no matter where you are going on this journey will be there for the long haul. Even my husband wanted to give me breakfast in bed because “I was sick”. He was promptly told where to shove that. And told that I was perfectly healthy I just had a condition called Cancer  where some cells were a bit crazy, but I was no different in my self than I was a month ago.

The next week was spent chasing down referrals for the Surgeon, checking our health Benefits and how much excess we would have to pay, what the Benefits covered etc. All very important. For some it is better to forgo health benefits rebates and go Public.

Hint #3  check out the above and take into consideration that it may be a long process of ongoing treatment.

A visit to the Surgeon on the Friday who just went through the facts of a Lumpectomy again, and said that it would be done the following Monday.

Again I was told that after the Lumpectomy I would undergo some Radiotherapy along with Tamoxifen. I expressed some concern about these treatments having read some of the side effects also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamoxifen#Side_effects

and the Surgeon offered a different drug whose side effects only attacked my Joints.

So off for another lunch, more research and an urgent note to tell my son to not send Flowers ( hate any flowers that were not lovingly tended by someone in their own garden)

“Darkness may hide the trees and the flowers from the eyesbut it cannot hide Love from the Soul"~Rumi
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