So in early August 2012 I went for my routine Mammogram and about a week later I was telephoned and asked to come back for a follow up appointment as there appeared to be a change from my last Mammogram. I thought that everything would be fine, as a year before I had fallen over and hit my left breast on a rock. A haematoma   had developed,  which I had  a fine  needle aspiration taken 

I went alone as I thought that yes this was no big deal . On arrival I sat in a waiting room, which was full of couples talking in hushed voices. There was lots of Posters on Breasts and Breast Health on the Walls. So now I was beginning to feel a slight sense of unease. There was also very, very sweet staff offering cups of tea and could they carry my bag ( a very small handbag) into the change room and on to the examination room. This treatment really bought on the (this is serious I must be on death’s door as no one ever treats me this way!) However I was extremely thankful that no one called me love or dear.

An Ultrasound  was taken of my Breast and then a wire was inserted to act as an arrow in the Mammogram that followed. Back again to Ultrasound where the Radiologist  decided on doing a core biopsy this is where a large needle is inserted and takes a larger sample than a fine aspiration. I was given a local anesthetic that reduced the pain but didn’t prepare me for the sound. It sounded like a large staple gun. I was then asked to come back in a week for the Pathology Report https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathology

Of course my mind had flown from the body at around the core biopsy stage and was not taking in much information . I dressed and retreated to my car where I sat and contemplated Death. Funnily enough initially I was not fearful. I have had a meditation practice for over 35 years and am more intrigued rather than fearful of the Death process. I have also been at both a Birth and a Death and had a sense of what a great privilege it was to experience fully the entrance and departure of the Soul. I am 64, my children whom I love dearly and I am loved in return are well on their way in their own journeys so I found myself asking why stay? (Like I thought I had the choice.)

I immediately found it was to be with my beloved husband of 46 years.